


take my hand (take my whole life, too)

by bloominsummer



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends With Benefits To Lovers, Kim Mingyu is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Minor Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Minor Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-06-29 22:44:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19840060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloominsummer/pseuds/bloominsummer
Summary: Mingyu loves spending time with his friend, Wonwoo. Mostly in bed, mostly without their clothes on.Mingyu also wants to spend Wonwoo's birthday with him, since that'd be cool.Except Wonwoo has a date (or at least Mingyu thinks so) and now he has to think about why his heart aches at the thought if they aren't in a relationship to begin with.





	take my hand (take my whole life, too)

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday, jeon wonwoo <3

Mingyu wakes up to the soft rustling of his bedsheet and a warm hand encircling his morning wood, which was previously resting unbothered against his stomach. He feels cold air over his now-exposed torso, making him shiver a little. There’s a low humming, hair tickling the skin of his inner thighs, followed by a familiar wetness engulfing half of his length. Back arching in reflex, Mingyu reaches down to tangle his fingers in the other’s hair.

“Good morning,” he rasps out.

Wonwoo pulls away from him just enough for the sheets to fall over his broad shoulders. He glances up at Mingyu, eyes half-lidded and features still ridden with sleep. Mingyu thinks he likes him best like this, propped up on his elbows between Mingyu’s spread legs, dark locks falling into his eyes. Eyes that bore right into Mingyu’s soul, determined to claim it as his own. Mingyu would let him if he asks.

“I’ve got 20 minutes before I have to go.” Wonwoo’s voice is hoarse, used.

A tinge of pride blossoms in Mingyu’s heart from the knowledge that him fucking Wonwoo into the mattress last night and Wonwoo letting his moans roam free in the absence of Mingyu’s roommate contributes to this fact.

“What are you waiting for then?”

The older man grins. He dips back down to drop butterfly kisses over Mingyu’s abdominal muscles, blunt nails raking the side of his thighs as he does so. Wonwoo makes sure he maintains eye-contact as he takes Mingyu into his mouth again, tongue lapping at the bead of precum trickling over the side. Mingyu closes his eyes and lets Wonwoo take charge, taking him deeper and curling a hand over what his throat can’t take. His hand shoots down to resume tugging at Wonwoo’s hair, but the other man catches it with his free one and holds it instead.

Wonwoo doesn’t need twenty minutes. Wonwoo doesn’t even need three. 

Mingyu tries to play it off to the fact that he’s still recovering from last night’s rounds rather than acknowledge Wonwoo’s out-of-this-world fellatio skills. He buries himself back into the bed after he climaxes, Wonwoo licking every last drop of him clean with a sated look on his face and his warm hands on Mingyu’s convulsing thighs. 

“I’m borrowing your underwear. You tore mine last night, _again_.” Mingyu hears him say.

He bites back a smart retort. Despite his protest, he knows that Wonwoo liked it. The way his eyes grew dark as night when Mingyu ripped the article from his body was unmistakable even in the dimmed lighting. But, Wonwoo did just perform a good deed for him first thing in the morning, so Mingyu will let him have this one.

“Sorry, I’ll buy you some.” He sits up on the bed, propping a pillow behind his back.

What a wonderful sight, he thinks, seeing Wonwoo pads softly across his room stark naked without a care in the world. There are red marks on his waist where Mingyu gripped him tight last night as Wonwoo was riding him. He eyes them intently, perhaps liking it a little too much that he left an imprint on the other man.

“You better.” Wonwoo slips Mingyu’s underwear on, then his own pants. Mingyu watches him pick up the loose shirt he was wearing last night from the floor and pull it over his head. “Kay, gotta go.”

Just as Wonwoo grabs his phone and wallet from the top of Mingyu’s drawer, a thought clicks in his head. “Hey, what’re you doing tomorrow night?” 

It’s Wonwoo birthday tomorrow. Facebook said so. _July 17, 1996_ , the birthdate column read when Mingyu checked last week. Soonyoung also said so, repeatedly, pointedly, like he wanted Mingyu to do something with the information. More fool him, he guesses, because he’s taking the bait.

“Ah, I’ve got to meet someone.” Wonwoo puts his wallet into his back pocket, not looking at Mingyu. “I’ll call you, though?”

He feels a little disappointed at that, but then realises he shouldn’t be. Sure, they classify as friends in the grand scheme of things. Their respective social circles have merged into one over time, they hang out with the others often to drink or have fried chicken, but besides falling in bed together now and then, they aren’t involved in each other’s personal life. Mingyu’s good with this arrangement. After all, he was the one who took the initiative and defined their relationship in the beginning. So what does this prickly feeling in his heart come from?

_I don’t want anything serious_ , he had said. It was probably after the third or fourth time they had sex.

Wonwoo had stopped mid-chew, his shrimp tempura hanging awkwardly in the air. They were particularly hungry that night, so they ordered take-out before Mingyu left. In those early days, staying over wasn’t part of the option just yet. 

_Should I stop eating so we can talk about this?_

_Do_ you _want anything serious?_ Mingyu had tilted his head down so he could look at Wonwoo. He was stretched out comfortably on Wonwoo’s couch, the owner of said couch ironically sitting cross-legged on the floor himself.

A shake of head. _Right now I just want to eat._

“Yeah, okay,” Mingyu says eventually when he realises Wonwoo’s hovering by the door, waiting for his answer.

Wonwoo leaves with a smile. The front door closes gently behind him, a faint sound that melts into the background noise of Mingyu’s loud inner voice.

*

Out of all place to meet a potential long-term hook-up partner, Mingyu first saw Wonwoo in a bookshop. He’s still working there until now, sometimes Mingyu would come by with a cup of iced coffee to get the elder through his afternoon shift.

He was with a girl, the first time he was thrown into Wonwoo’s orbit. It must have been at least six, seven months ago. He and the girl were fooling around, as Mingyu often did with many girls then, found themselves stumbling through the bookshop. No one greeted them, so they wandered and made out against one of the old shelves until someone’s elbow knocked the entire collection of A Song of Ice and Fire onto the floor with a loud thud. The girl wriggled from under Mingyu—he can’t even recall her name, now—and made a run for it. 

Mingyu spun to follow her, but he and his long limbs weren’t quick enough, because he bumped straight into Wonwoo.

_Making trouble, I see. Go ahead_. Wonwoo raised his eyebrows and stepped aside to let Mingyu walk away scot-free. There was something to his tone, perhaps the lack of impressiveness, that made it seem like had presented a challenge. One that Mingyu simply couldn’t ignore. 

_If you think I was going to leave without taking any responsibility, you are absolutely correct, until you said that out loud and now I have to prove you wrong._

Wonwoo laughed. 

Mingyu has had crushes on men before. Handsome men, with jawlines so sharp they can cut through bone. Attractive men, with a confident slur to their speech that let him know they know exactly what they want and how to get it. Hot men, with smouldering eyes that get him all worked up just by staring into them.

But Wonwoo? Wonwoo was _beautiful_.

His nose crinkled in amusement, the corner of his eyes following suit. The little shake of his shoulders, wild strands of hair moving as he went through his happy convulsions. The girl didn’t come back to check on him, but when Wonwoo bent down to pick one of the books and his hand grazed Mingyu’s, the jolt of electricity he felt was enough to make him forget why he was there in the first place.

“Yo! What?” Minghao’s shrill voice breaks his train of thoughts.

“What?” he parrots back as his best friend takes the empty seat next to him in their lecture theatre.

“You tell me. You’re wearing the ‘I’m thinking too hard and my brain cells are dying’ face.”

Mingyu smooths out his facial expression, in case his inner pain has materialised on his features. “I’m having a fantastic time, thank you very much. My brain cells are dying because I had a mind-blowing blowjob this morning.”

His best friend makes a disgusted face. Serves him right for throwing a jab at Mingyu as soon as he sees him. Where has all the loyalty gone to in bro world?

“If you’re stressed about what to give Wonwoo for his birthday, just return the favour, then.”

He turns to look at Minghao and considers wringing his neck right there and then for the simple remark. First, he rightly assumed that Wonwoo was the one giving him a blowjob this morning. That has much more complicated implications than it seems on the surface. Mingyu’s very active and successful in the flirting game, okay? He could have been getting it on with the petite blonde from the bar last week, or the red-haired dance machine from the club the other day. 

He could have, but he didn’t. The red-haired even offered him to come over to his apartment and Mingyu had politely refused. 

Second, he knows about Wonwoo’s birthday and knows Mingyu well enough to think that he’d be stressed over it. Fuck Minghao and his all-knowing mullet.

“Not like we’re spending it together.”

“Why not?”

Seriously. Maybe he can pull out Minghao’s precious hair if he tugs hard enough.

“He has plans.”

The atmosphere shifts. Mingyu sounds a little too bothered by it and he’s sure Minghao can see right through his act of nonchalance. 

“So that’s what’s bothering you. That your friend with benefits has other things to do besides pounding you on his birthday?” Minghao chuckles a little, as if he’s amused. “God, I forgot what a self-absorbed prick you can be at times.”

Mingyu scowls half-heartedly, not taking Minghao's words to heart. His best friend's always had a tough-love thing going on for Mingyu since they were younger, this is just one of his ways of pointing out Mingyu’s bullshit. He opens his mouth to reply, but then their professor strolls in through the door and starts doing the roll call. 

He gets no calls or texts from Wonwoo for the rest of the day. And maybe he stays up a little late to give Wonwoo a chance to redeem himself.

More fool him.

*

It wasn’t a drunken mistake, the first time they slept together. Mingyu can’t even blame it on the alcohol. He had one beer and Wonwoo was the designated driver for the night. They dropped the others off one by one, Mingyu being the last because his place is the nearest to Wonwoo’s. Once they successfully heaved Seungcheol into his bed and took his shoes off along with his jacket to make sure he wouldn’t get overheated in his sleep, Wonwoo began the drive back to Mingyu’s place in silence.

_Can I sleep at your place?_

_Sure,_ Wonwoo had said.

_Can I sleep with you?_

_Sure,_ Wonwoo had said again, eyes still on the road.

_Will you sleep with me?_

He had gotten a quick side glance for that. Mingyu knew Wonwoo had understood what he meant, the not-so-innocent implication of his words. 

_Besides the one bottle, what else did you drink?_

The younger could tell from his tone that the question wasn’t reprimanding. It wasn’t to tell him that the idea was outrageous, that Wonwoo wanted to know what he had in his system to ever make him suggest such things. It was to test the waters, to make sure Mingyu knew what he was doing, that he was capable of making sound decisions.

_Nothing. Water._

Mingyu watched Wonwoo’s grip tighten momentarily on the stirring wheel, then he relaxed again as he put his indicator on to change lanes, taking them back to his place instead.

_Then I’m not opposed to sleeping with you._

Perhaps the mistake was befriending him in the first place. If they didn’t become friends, it would have been easier. If they didn’t become friends, Mingyu wouldn’t have learned his habits. He wouldn’t have noticed when Wonwoo was trying to avoid telling the truth.

What bothered him, after he analysed the whole interaction over and over again in his head, was that Wonwoo didn’t say _I’m hanging out with the guys_ or _I have to cover Jihoon’s shift at work_ or _group project meeting, sucks._ He said he’s _got to meet someone_. Like, a date. So, what? It’s not like he has any rights to get worked up if Wonwoo’s out on a date. He could go on a date, too, if he wanted. But that’s the problem, isn’t it? Mingyu hasn’t wanted anyone else in his bed but Wonwoo for months. And it’s not something significant that makes his world stop revolving. The sex is _great_ , things are easy, he flirts just to prove he still can but never felt the need to have someone else satisfy his needs.

“Arro commo own Fryway?” Soonyoung addresses him with cheeks stuffed of spring rolls. To his left, Jihoon smiles fondly at his boyfriend’s antics.

Jarring, even after all the time they’ve spent together, to see Jihoon turn to mush around Soonyoung. Mingyu’s first encounter with the golden-haired man was rather traumatic. He had made a mess of the window display of the shop on his way in and Jihoon had come marching to him with a pen gripped in his hand, like he was going to stab Mingyu with it. Lucky for him, Wonwoo came to his rescue, telling Jihoon to get back to the register because he’s got it covered.

_He’s nice once you get to know him._ Wonwoo had told him.

Mingyu scoffed at the time, because yeah, no way in hell. Then he met Soonyoung. Saw Soonyoung with Jihoon, how he tamed the pout and turned it the other way around, how he slipped his fingers into Jihoon’s when the blond started digging his nails into his palms. Mingyu began to understand, little by little, but he suspects he’ll never fully get it. 

“Swallow, Soonie.” Jihoon pats his back.

Soonyoung does, then sticks his tongue out at him. “That’s what you said last night.” 

Jihoon’s flushed to the neck as he pushes Soonyoung away from him, but doesn’t look as mad as Mingyu expected him to be. He blinks at their interaction, unsure of how it makes him feel. 

“So?”

“Huh? Sorry, I didn’t understand you the first time.”

“Are you coming on Friday? To Wonwoo’s party? Well. I’m calling it a party, but it’s probably just gonna be us, a lot of soju, home-made grilled pork belly, and some fun.”

He got the invitation, of course, Wonwoo had sent it out to their group chat consisting of 12 guys. And no, he’s not bothered that Wonwoo could text an entire group but otherwise stayed radio silent with Mingyu. The string of messages that followed Wonwoo’s announcement was full with happy birthday wishes and a bunch of confetti emojis, courtesy to Seungkwan mostly. Mingyu’s yet to send out one of his own. 

“Yeah, probably.” 

“Cool. Ask your roommate to come!”

“Hansol?” Mingyu raises his eyebrows, glancing at Jihoon to check if he’d just heard Soonyoung right.

Jihoon is busy scrolling through his phone, though, and Soonyoung is leaning in close to him like he’s about to tell them the launch code to their country’s missile system.

“Don’t say you heard this from me, but Seungkwannie’s got an itsy bitsy crush on him.”

Mingyu can’t help the amused huff that escapes him. The first time Seungkwan met Hansol, his roommate was wearing a tie-dyed shirt with vibrant colours, a pair or red-lensed glasses and a beanie that covered up his face down to his eyebrows. His looks have definitely seen better days. Still, Seungkwan stared at him like he was a cardboard cut out of Michelangelo's David. Personally, Mingyu doesn’t get the appeal, but to each their own, he supposes. 

“Alright. I’ll ask Hansol to come,” Mingyu agrees. Hansol’s a good guy, and 13 is a good number. An addition to their friend group won't hurt, even though Hansol goes to an art school a bus drive away from their college. “No promises, though, so don’t go telling Seungkwan anything.”

“Why would I! It’s way more fun to see him surprised.” Soonyoung starts clapping his hands like an excited seal. He takes a gulp of his carbonated drink, then starts talking again. “So, what’s the plan for tonight?”

Truth be told, Mingyu’s just going to wallow in his sadness and get a little drunk before he wishes Wonwoo happy birthday just as the day is about to end. Might be best not to share the information with Wonwoo’s best friend, though.

“Me? I’m just gonna do my essay and go to bed early.”

“Wh—” the older man chokes on his rice, then, prompting Jihoon to throw his phone on the table and start clapping Soonyoung’s back. Another two seconds and Mingyu can see him performing the Heimlich manoeuvre on his boyfriend. Luckily, Soonyoung straightens up before it happens. 

“But Wonwoo said he had plans.”

“They’re not with me.” Mingyu shrugs.

Soonyoung frowns as if he’d just been told puppies are about to go extinct. “Oh. Okay.”

And that’s it. 

Or so Mingyu thinks. 

Apparently, _Jihoon_ decides to let Seungkwan in on their lunch-time secret, because Seungkwan is determined to take Mingyu out to a noraebang to show his premature gratitude. Mingyu should refuse, maybe that way he’d actually get some work done on his essay (he really does have one due next week, he wasn’t full-on lying), but Seungkwan shows up at his apartment before he can make up his mind.

Hansol’s in for the night, and Seungkwan’s not yet at the stage where he feels comfortable to ask him to come join them, but he extends the invitation to Wonwoo’s party himself and manages not to stutter through his words. Mingyu watches the two of them, a little proud of his dongsaeng. The smile that graces his face when Hansol quickly agrees to it is endearing in a lot of ways. Hansol’s expression tells Mingyu that he shares the sentiment.

So they go out. Mingyu stuffs himself full with shrimp chimps and corndogs, whereas Seungkwan chooses one pop love songs after another to belt his lungs out to. Seokmin comes to join them after 30 minutes, dragging Jeonghan in behind him. The love songs disappear into ballads, then some hip-hop songs that Mingyu can actually sing along to. After a while, Jeonghan picks one song about heartbreak and by the end of it, Mingyu is ready to call it a night. 

He doesn’t drink as much as he would like since it’s still a school night and he needs to be sober enough to remember to send Wonwoo a happy birthday text, but Mingyu has to admit he’s a little tipsy. Seokmin is supporting his weight just fine, swaying along to Mingyu’s butchered rendition of _I Will Always Love You_ , Jeonghan and Seungkwan supplying backing vocals. He loves his group of friends, misfits and weirdos alike.

Of course, Lady Luck likes to play with Mingyu’s heart. Right on the main street, before they’re supposed to make a turn toward Mingyu’s apartment, Seokmin suddenly runs from underneath Mingyu’s arms, squealing excitedly at someone who looks a lot like… Wonwoo. Probably because it _is_ Wonwoo. Wonwoo, in all his glory, standing on the side of the road with his thick thighs wrapped in black leather pants and a long-sleeve velvet turtleneck shirt hugging the upper part of his body. 

Weird, Mingyu thinks from afar, it’s pretty cold out and he’s not wearing a jacket. 

Seungkwan runs toward him, too, and Jeonghan glances at Mingyu for a bit before cocking his head in Wonwoo’s direction. _Coming?_ Mingyu can see the question in his eyes. He nods, _go ahead_. Jeonghan takes off, blond hair flying in the wind as he goes.

He makes his way slowly toward the small crowd. Seokmin is gushing about something, he’s not sure what, the guy’s always has a lot to share with his friends. Wonwoo meets his eyes, then, and gives Mingyu a smile that makes him think that all is right in the world again. Except, he shifts his stance and a girl appears from behind him, previously blocked in Mingyu’s line of sight by Wonwoo’s figure. She’s pretty, long caramel hair framing her dainty features, worn with slight waves down at the bottom. Mingyu’s eyes zoom on her hand on Wonwoo’s bicep, so natural in its placement, the girl grinning at something Seungkwan’s saying. 

Most importantly, Wonwoo’s jacket is thrown over her shoulders. If Mingyu hadn’t seen that nylon-blend bomber jacket so often, hadn’t peeled it off Wonwoo’s body almost every week once the rain starts to fall every day, hadn’t thrown it across the room in all his impatience, he would have thought it was hers. It looks good on her. Like it belongs there.

Oh boy, does it hurt. 

His steps grow heavier as he gets closer. Wonwoo seems to notice this, somehow, because he removes himself from the group and walks the rest of the way to Mingyu.

“Hey,” greets Wonwoo easily.

“Happy birthday, hyung.” 

Mingyu rarely calls him that despite being a year younger, but it seems fitting in this situation. Calling him by his given name is reserved for people who climb in bed with him, or for those who actually hold a place in Wonwoo’s heart. Neither of which would be Mingyu from now on. 

It’s fine.

This thing between them couldn’t last forever. Eventually, they’re going to find people they want to have a serious relationship with, it just happens that Wonwoo is first. Mingyu is not going to stand in the way of Wonwoo’s happiness, especially if he doesn’t know how he truly feels.

Wonwoo reaches out to ruffle Mingyu’s hair affectionately. “Thanks. You’re coming on Friday, right?”

“Um. I don’t know yet. I’ll see. Might have something to do.”

He gets a disappointed pout that almost breaks his resolve, but Mingyu doesn’t want to spend an entire night in a small space with Wonwoo and his new girlfriend. Not when there will be 10 pair of curious eyes glued to him, waiting for him to lose it and eventually explode. 

“Okay,” Wonwoo says eventually, pout still there. 

The urge to kiss it off his face is getting overwhelming for Mingyu. 

“I should probably go, it’s kinda late and I’m a little… you know.” He demonstrates by swinging his right leg up in the air. 

“Do you want me to take you home?”

_And leave your date alone?_

“No!” It comes out rushed and a bit too loud. The girl’s looking over at them, alerted by the small commotion. Mingyu forces himself to study the pavement in order to avoid her eyes. “I’ll be fine.”

“You sure?”

Without looking up at him, Mingyu nods. He hears Wonwoo’s little tired sigh. “Alright. I’ll call you, yeah?”

“No.”

“What?”

He finally lifts his gaze up and Wonwoo’s eyes are sharp, searching Mingyu’s face for an explanation. Sadly for Mingyu, he doesn’t look the slightest bit hurt. Confused, but not hurt. The birthday boy remains unfazed by the rejection coming from someone who doesn’t matter to him. Nothing’s new.

“No, I mean.” He clears his throat when his voice cracks a bit. “I’m a little busy this week. I’ll give you a text when my schedule clears up. Yeah.”

“Is everything alright?” Wonwoo actually sounds concerned, this time.

As much as he wants to answer _no, it’s not alright_ , he can’t. This seems like a _Mingyu_ problem, not a _Mingyu and Wonwoo_ one— not that there’s a _Mingyu and Wonwoo_ to begin with. So he has to solve it on his own. 

“Of course, hyung. I’m going. Uh, happy birthday again.”

He turns around and starts walking before Wonwoo can say another word. Perhaps it’s the fact that his vision blurs with tears when he tries to listen out for but doesn't hear Wonwoo calling his name, that makes everything clear to him. Or maybe it’s the fact that he wants nothing more than for Wonwoo to run after him and stop him from going. As he lies awake for hours in his bed that night, the scent of Wonwoo’s shampoo still lingers on the pillow that he uses two nights ago, Mingyu realises that somewhere between pining Wonwoo's wrists above his head and playing PlayerUnknown’s Battleground with him, he fell in love.

In other words, Jeon Wonwoo has thoroughly and utterly fucked him in all ways possible. 

*

In the end, he chooses to skip on Friday. Hansol tries to persuade him to come, saying he doesn’t want to be there without his friendship bridge, as he liked to refer to Mingyu. He kindly reminds Hansol that it was Seungkwan who invited him, so technically _he’s_ the friendship bridge and not Mingyu. His roommate blushes and hangs around Mingyu’s room longer than necessary to make sure he’s all good.

Seungkwan texts him after a while, which is good because Mingyu doesn’t have to push him out the door to get him to leave. He takes a hot shower after Hansol’s gone, then puts on the TV and starts the next episode of Stranger Things, a bowl of microwaved popcorn on his lap. Life is peaceful, for the moment. Mingyu has totally succeeded in compartmentalising his feelings for Wonwoo into a small box and push it away deep within the closet.

The idyll doesn’t last long, because fifteen minutes past eight o’clock, there’s a rather impatient banging on his front door. Sighing, Mingyu puts his half-empty bowl away and drags himself to the foyer.

“Dude stop forgetting your key—” he swings the door open, but it isn’t Hansol on the other side as he had expected. “What are you doing here?”

Wonwoo pushes past him and into the living room. “You’re not out.”

“What?”

This must be a dream. Mingyu pinches himself and jumps at the stinging pain on his forearm. Not a dream, then. A joke. 

“Are you sick?”

“No.” He swats Wonwoo’s hand away when it aims for his forehead. “What are you doing here?” he repeats, a little less surprised and a little rougher than before.

Hansol must have sold him out, it’s the only plausible explanation for Wonwoo showing up at his place. It’s partially his fault for not swearing his roommate to secrecy, but that means Mingyu can stop making him pity ramyeons when Hansol’s struggling with his drawings for now on.

The elder takes a step back and crosses his arms over his chest, measuring Mingyu’s body language before giving him a reply.

“Are you upset with me or something?”

“ _Am I upset with you?_ ” His pitch goes up involuntarily as he repeats Wonwoo’s question back to him. It sounds just as incredulous the second time around. Wonwoo has to be fucking kidding. Barging into Mingyu's place like he owns it and immediately starts demanding answers. Mingyu owes him nothing.

“So you are,” he clucks his tongue annoyingly. “Instead of talking to me about it, you were just going to ghost me?”

It takes everything Mingyu has inside of him not to scream: _I have no rights to be upset, much less come to you and talk about it. What the fuck do you what from me now?_

“I wasn’t ghosting you.”

“You said you were busy and here you are, in your desolate outfits, doing absolutely nothing,” he gestures at the TV, the second to last episode of the third season still playing. 

Mingyu wishes the Mindflayer is real and it can come out of the screen to eat him, at least that will end his suffering quickly. Not only Wonwoo knows that Mingyu’s avoiding him, but he also knows that he’s not replacing him for something better. Tough luck.

“What the fuck are my desolate outfits?” The retort is a rather weak one if he has to admit it. Mingyu’s in one of his oldest sweatpants, already it’s tearing apart at the seams just like he is right now. The shirt he’s wearing is not that much better, either, the pattern faded from years of washing. 

When Wonwoo chooses not to answer him, Mingyu throws another question at the older man. “Don’t you have a party to attend? You’re the host.”

“Why are you upset at me?” asks Wonwoo.

His gaze softens, so does the tone of his voice. Jesus, Mingyu must look absolutely terrible if he’s dialling back on the power.

“Why, indeed.”

Wonwoo’s thinking hard, his eyebrows taut in concentration. Not long after, a light bulb goes off over his head. “W-were you…” Mingyu squeezes his eyes shut, because he knows Wonwoo’s figured it out. Too late now. “Jealous? That night? Is that it?”

The word being thrown out there so easily pisses Mingyu off. He had to take his time to process what he was feeling, then Wonwoo focuses for one minute and connects the dot just like that? 

“You’re a smug little asshole, you know that?” Wonwoo flinches away at Mingyu's harsh tone. 

Rude is the one thing Mingyu has never been in front of Wonwoo ever since the beginning, so of course this takes him by surprise. But Mingyu doesn’t care. Wonwoo’s being mean, which is completely unnecessary. He didn’t have to come here and flaunt this at Mingyu’s face, but he did. He could have let Mingyu wallow in his sorrows alone, with the last bits of his dignity intact, but he didn’t. Now two can play this game. 

“You know. So what.” He glares down at Wonwoo. “You’re going to use it against me now? Hold it over my head until the end of days? Go ahead.”

Lifting his chin in defiance, Wonwoo refuses to yield under Mingyu’s gaze. “Answer me.”

Mingyu isn’t going to give him the satisfaction of hearing him confirm it on top of being right on all counts. “Fuck you.”

“Her name’s Sana.”

He takes a step forward, one foot in front of the other. Every cell of Mingyu’s body feels his pull, but his brain tells him to recoil before he gets hurt even more.

“No one asked,” Mingyu spats at him, getting angry now. At Wonwoo, at himself. At the situation he worked hard to avoid yet finds himself inevitably in.

Another step forward.

“She’s Bohyuk’s girlfriend.” He eyes Mingyu carefully, studying his response. “My little brother. Remember him?”

Bohyuk. Yes. He remembers hearing mentions of the faceless figure during one of their many pillow-talks. He found it weird in the beginning that Wonwoo had no problem sharing details of his private life outside their mutual circle barely ten minutes after Mingyu came inside him, like _my brother’s visiting this week_ or _my mom’s birthday is coming_ , but then he remembered they were supposedly friends before anything else and let it slide. He listened to Wonwoo without fail, he just never pressed for more.

“I didn’t know he had a girlfriend,” he challenges. Wonwoo could just be making this up to save his own ass.

“That’s because you _didn’t_ want to know,” Wonwoo runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. “You fuck me, and you let me fuck you, but you don’t tell me anything that matters. I found out you have a sister from Instagram.”

Mingyu didn’t know that Wonwoo wanted to know these things. There aren’t many parts of him that are interesting enough to offer to another person. He’s a good lay, but what does he have beyond that, that would appeal to Wonwoo? He’d rather not try than find the answer to that question to be _nothing_. 

“Plus, you never seem to have a problem flirting with other people when I’m in the same room. God, Mingyu, I know by heart which flavour of lube you like best. I bet you don’t even know what ice cream flavour I always get. Why are you lashing out now?”

“Stracciatella,” Mingyu blurts out instead of answering the question.

It’s Wonwoo’s turn to gape. They both know Mingyu’s answer is spot on. That’s the only ice cream flavour he’d eat, and he gets a little pissy if Soonyoung gets him plain vanilla, which still happens pretty much all the time despite their long years of friendship.

Wonwoo almost takes another step forward. Mingyu sees him falter, his confidence wavering. His fists are clenched on his sides. This is it. Now or never. He supposes if this is going to end, he might as well have no regrets when he looks back to this day. 

“I’m— my personality’s a lot. It’s not for everyone.”

That’s probably the first sincere thing that comes out of him in this entire conversation. Wonwoo’s shoulders sag, the fight leaving his lithe body in slow waves. Mingyu doesn’t want to be pitied, he just wants Wonwoo to know that there’s a reason behind it all. Even before they started sleeping together, he had to choose between letting Wonwoo have a glimpse of him and keeping him, or opening up to Wonwoo and lose him for good. Mingyu made his choice. 

“And when did _you_ decide that it wasn’t for me?”

Mingyu shrugs. “I’m loud. You’re into like… silence.” That makes much more sense in his head.

Wonwoo laughs, though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “You’re compassionate, you have a good sense of humour. You’re courageous, loyal to your friends, especially Minghao, even though you like to rile him up on purpose. I’m into that.”

Unable to form a coherent reply to Wonwoo’s admission, Mingyu keeps his mouth shut. Wonwoo rests his bottom on the upper frame of the couch, long legs spread in front of him.

“I don’t mind staying casual.” He says it so quietly Mingyu thinks he’s imagining it at first. “If your answer to my question before is a no, then we can go back to whatever we were previously. But if it’s a yes, then I’d like to try dating. Maybe we’ll suck at it, even though I don’t think we will, who knows? All I know is I want to find out. With you.” 

He speaks that last part while looking right at Mingyu, eyes clear and bright. A little hopeful, maybe. 

“Whatever you say, though, I’ll take it as the truth. And… I might not want to revisit this topic in the future. I hope you understand.”

The prospect scares him. If they continue as before, then what? Tomorrow, or a week from now, or one day when he’s settled in thinking that this could last, Wonwoo might walk down the street with another person. Someone who’s not his brother’s girlfriend. The difference is then Mingyu will be completely powerless to stop it, because Wonwoo will be done with entertaining the thoughts of them being in a relationship with him.

He loses himself in his thought until Wonwoo comes to stand before him, a thumb hooked underneath his jaw to guide him to look at Wonwoo.

“Were you jealous?”

_You’re courageous_ , isn’t that what Wonwoo said just before? Wanting to live up to that, Mingyu gives him a small nod.

“You big baby.” He nudges Mingyu’s cheek with his nose, which is when Mingyu realises there’s dampness there that Wonwoo’s promptly wiping away. God, this is fucking embarrassing, and Wonwoo’s seen him whine and beg for his cock on multiple occasions. “Come here.”

Wonwoo throws his arms around Mingyu’s neck and settles his face at the point where his clavicles meet. Mingyu lets himself melt into the embrace, his own arms snaking around Wonwoo’s waist to pull him close. There’s a hint of charcoal smell clinging to Wonwoo’s shirt from manning the grill at dinner. He can’t help but laugh when he remembers there are eleven young adult males over at Wonwoo’s place who are probably confused as to why their host has fled his birthday celebration, though he doesn’t worry too much about it. Knowing Soonyoung, he’d probably find some ways to keep them all busy until the sun rises again tomorrow.

“We’re a fucking mess.” Wonwoo joins him when he feels Mingyu laughing.

Mingyu likes the sounds of that. _We are,_ as if they’re one already.

“Is it safe to confess my feelings now?” asks Wonwoo as he pulls back just enough to look Mingyu in the eyes, but still touching him in all the places that matter. “Will you bite my head off?”

He pretends to consider it. “Probably not.”

Wonwoo shakes his head, endeared by Mingyu’s antics— he’s probably the only person who ever finds him endearing, but he’s the only one Mingyu needs to feel that way, so. His hands leave the back of Mingyu’s neck only so that his slender fingers can slip into the spaces between Mingyu’s thicker ones.

“I’m a little bit in love with you, Kim Mingyu.” 

_Then I’m the luckiest man for it._

Mingyu leans down to kiss him and tastes the chocolatey flavour from Wonwoo’s birthday cake on his tongue, the elder squeezing his hand in response. The slight bitterness is quickly overwhelmed by Wonwoo’s own distinctive taste, something saccharine sweet, just as Mingyu prefers it.

*

It turns out, they don’t totally suck at it. 

Some things change, mostly for the better. Others things don’t.

By the end of the first week, all of their friends know. They pretty much figured it out when Wonwoo didn’t return from Mingyu’s place, for the exception of Seungkwan who apparently slipped away from the party himself with Hansol in tow. None of them is too surprised and if Mingyu’s being completely honest with himself, he’s not either. In terms of their relationship, the changes are subtle, like Wonwoo knows Mingyu might struggle with big ones and is trying to ease him into it. Mingyu likes it that now Wonwoo holds his hand when they walk down the street and calls Mingyu pet-names the younger pretends not to enjoy.

August ends with Mingyu going out to dinner with Sana and Bohyuk. He wears only a light sweater and revels in the fact that Wonwoo lasts approximately ten seconds after they go outside before he drapes his jacket over Mingyu’s shoulders. Wonwoo is kind enough not to let Sana in on the joke that Mingyu had mistaken her for Wonwoo’s girlfriend, but he decides to come clean to her. He thanks her, too, for being the catalyst of him getting his shit together. They share a good laugh, and she tells him they’re on the same team now, both swept off their feet by the Jeon brothers.

Then October rolls in and they start doing their grocery shopping together. Mingyu makes good on his promise to buy Wonwoo a couple of boxes of new underwear. Thin, cheap ones, because he’s a poor college student who plans on ruining said underwear soon enough anyway. They see the first snow together—Mingyu’s very first time seeing it with someone he loves. Wonwoo kisses the back of his hands when he tries to keep Mingyu warm.

The year changes quickly. Valentine's Day weekend comes in a blink and Mingyu gives Wonwoo one of most romantic gifts (according to Wonwoo himself)—he takes him home. Not home as in, his shared apartment with Hansol, but home as in, his childhood home in Anyang. Wonwoo finally meets his parents after time and time again seeing them in Mingyu's weekly video calls. Minseo loves him, asks her parents and Mingyu if she could have Wonwoo as her older brother instead. 

Two weeks later, in the last week of February, Wonwoo graduates top of his class and moves out of his old place to a new apartment smack in the middle of Seoul’s business district, provided to him by his new employers. Mingyu misses having him around in campus, misses having Wonwoo walk him from one class to the next, misses only walking a short distance to him when he wants to see him. He visits the bookshop from time to time, hopeful that he’ll see Wonwoo with his glasses tucked into the placket of his shirt, hands on his hips, scowling at Mingyu for knocking over a stack of books. But Wonwoo isn’t there anymore. Jihoon isn’t there anymore, either, having graduated alongside him.

It seems like a lot is changing in a short period and Mingyu is particularly terrible with change.

One night he feels the gap between them widen to the size of an ocean and he finds himself staring at the ceiling, quietly wondering what Wonwoo’s doing all the way on the other side of town. Hansol has been staying over at Seungkwan’s more often now, so he’s left alone with his errant thoughts. He contemplates picking up the phone and calling Wonwoo to tell him how he’s been feeling, that he’s having a hard time, because he’s allowed to share his struggle with his boyfriend. He goes back and forth in his decision until there’s an insistent series of knocks on his door.

Mingyu’s not a big believer in the concept of destiny before, but when opens the door to find Wonwoo in his oversized sleepwear and Doraemon slippers, car keys clutched in hand and so much _love_ and _longing_ in his eyes— Mingyu finds his soulmate in him.

“Miss you,” Wonwoo peppers his face with kisses before Mingyu can greet him properly. He pulls away, hands cupping Mingyu’s face, the keyring cold against his outer earlobe. “Do you want to move in with me?”

Mingyu’s knees give up on him. Wonwoo laughs, a delighted sound surfacing from the very core of his being. His arms, strong, are placed underneath Mingyu’s own to hold him up.

“Screw you,” Mingyu says, but it sounds more like _I love you, I would like to wake up to you every morning._ “Please.” The yes is in there somewhere, hidden in between the lines. Which doesn’t matter, because Wonwoo reads him perfectly.

His boyfriend tilts his face up to kiss Mingyu on the mouth once; an overture, a promise. He presses into Mingyu with the same determination he’s always shown, then bites his reddened lips when he leans away.

“What are you waiting for then?”

Mingyu cancels his lease the week of his birthday and hauls his belonging over to Wonwoo’s with their friends’ help. Hansol assures him multiple times that he doesn’t mind. Mingyu strongly suspects it’s due to the fact that he’s probably a month or two away from terminating his own contract. The new apartment is humble, which means there isn’t much space, which means Wonwoo can’t question him when Mingyu purposefully bumps his body into Wonwoo’s own every time they as much as breathe in the same room. He loves it. He loves Wonwoo.

Before they know it, Wonwoo’s birthday comes rolling around again. This time Mingyu finally takes Minghao up on his advice and puts down _blowjob_ as one of his presents for his boyfriend. He’s a little late, but he’s always been a late bloomer, and Wonwoo doesn’t mind as long as he makes a pretty flower.

“You know I love you, right?” Mingyu poses the question after they come back from their candle-lit celebration dinner and finish their third round of making love for the night. 

The sex is still great, even better because Wonwoo vocalises more than just his demands now, he speaks honeyed words right into Mingyu's ears that push him over the edge. They take turns putting ideas of new things to try in bed on the table. Mingyu figures he might like a little choking from time to time, but only from Wonwoo, and only when he asks for it. Wonwoo learns how to do it properly the day Mingyu brings it up, just in case he ever wants to try. He shows Mingyu his research proudly when the younger returns from his classes and Mingyu falls a little deeper in love. 

But with all of that, some things remain constant. Like the way Wonwoo still makes Mingyu’s back arches and his thighs shake when he goes down on him and presses his tongue flat over Mingyu’s hole, and the way sometimes, Wonwoo fucks him so good his eyes roll to the back of his head when he comes. Other times, he gets to watch Wonwoo completely lose it beneath him. It’s as much fun either way.

Wonwoo smiles against his shoulder. “I know. It’s always good to hear it, though.”

“I love you,” Mingyu says again, a little louder. He knows a request for a repeat performance if he hears one.

“I love you too, Gyu. A lot.” Wonwoo intertwines their fingers together and holds their joined hands against Mingyu’s stomach, reeling him in closer.

That’s one more change Mingyu notices. His favourite, in case anyone is wondering. _A little bit_ has become _a lot_.

**Author's Note:**

> come celebrate wonwoo's day with me on twitter [@_bloominsummer](https://twitter.com/_bloominsummer) :-D


End file.
